We'll start off the year with a bit of self-mortification. I promise the rest of my house doesn't look like this! I present my bathroom cupboard and our kid craft closet. The wonderful thing about both of these places is that they have doors. No one has to know what the inside is like unless they happen to open them. Then, they may get pelted on the forehead by a rogue bottle of aspirin, or stray can of Play-Doh. I know how to navigate such trecherous territory because I live it every day. I know that the hairbows are overflowing so that the towels don't fit into the cabinet, thus pushing the toothbrushes to the edge of a dangerous precipice. I know where to find the un-colored coloring books and the painting gear and I can get it without the need of swear words. Sure, it takes me 5 minutes to find my mascara every morning, but big deal!
The problem arises when other people have to interact with the territory. Heaven help my girls if they are looking for the hairbrush! People get hurt. I worry about what they think- about my organizational skills, my housekeeping skills, me as a whole. Those cluttered, or rather, primordial messes hiding behind closed doors suck away my happiness and contentment.
But then why do I let them get that way? Everyday they get worse, and everyday I know that they are a problem, but I put myself off. There's always tomorrow. And tomorrow brings busyness, routine, and no change to the problem areas. So I don't do anything about them because I'm managing just fine. I know how to catch the falling clutter. I know how to deal with it so, is it really that bad?
Well, yes. It isn't what I'm capable of and it isn't what I want my life to be like! In cleaning out the bathroom cupboard and the craft closet I couldn't help but think about the other "cupboards and closets" I have- filled with bad habits, angry thoughts, and ungrateful feelings. I can close the door, and no one has to see the mess, except for, unfortunately, the people to whom I'm closest.
So this week, I got to work. Broken crayons, dead markers, used up coloring books. Empty lotion bottles, broken clips, and stained hairbows. I tossed some things and rearranged the things that were important. While I still have much to do, I was struck with my blessings. It is miraculous in a world where so many people have so little, I have the luxury to throw things away, or donate them to others. What feels like a chore, I mean a great-feeling chore, is a rarity. The fact that I can write about this, and that you are reading it, is more proof that I have been given much. Electricity, a warm home, faith, and the ability to decide I don't need some of the things that I have- what a bounteous way to start off my year.
Organize yourselves isn't just about making sure your towels are folded, although there is peace in that. It is about creating more order so you can recognize the gratitude you should have and your potential for improvement. This becomes part of my goal for the year- to organize my thoughts so that I can be the kind of person on the inside that I portray on the outside. Fewer dangerous closets packed with volitile projectiles, and more peace, structure, and self-assurance.
So much good can come from a tiny grain of wheat. I think it is planted. I think it will need tending.
Bake the bread. Share the slices.
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